Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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