Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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