white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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