Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
