so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
