I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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