ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
