wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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