i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
