YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
