I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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