i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize