worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
