hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize