I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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