I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
