Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
