i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
