He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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