Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize