It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
