She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
