Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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