so that wasnt chicken after all
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
