You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
