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I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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