You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
