I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize