You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
