Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
this will be a night to untag.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
