I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
