is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
