She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
