totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
