She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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