I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
