Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
