If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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