eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
