No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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