Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
