i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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