So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
