I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
