Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
