i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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