Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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