Your mouth is God's brothel.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
