what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
