i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize