Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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