theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
