if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
