trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
