; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
