Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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