the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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