That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
only you would photoshop your dick
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
