I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
