He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
is it fun? or sober?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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