can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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