I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
