We won't sleep together?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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