i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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