Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
