she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
sex in a hospital.. check
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
